Sunday, July 19, 2009

Heart Moms

Just wanted to let you know that new pictures are up on Keegan's photo site. Check out all the fun he's been having this month at home, and be sure to leave him a message of encouragement! We have cardiology clinic all day tomorrow and several therapy appointments. It appears Keegan will need yet another new g-button this week, as he is having significant leakage from his stoma now. We're waiting for word from his doc on Monday, but we are anticipating switching to a new type of button to try to fix these problems.

Thought I'd use this opportunity to share a poem that means a lot to me. It's another one like the "Holland" essay I posted awhile ago. You either understand this because it applies to you, or hopefully it might shine some light into our world.


The Day I Became A Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same.
They told me that my baby was sick.
I thought, "Am I to blame"?
I don't think I can handle this.
I am really not that strong.
It seemed my heart was breaking.
I have loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child.
I will listen to your advice.
I will give my son any chance.
No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need
To help my baby thrive.
I'll even use that feeding tube.
My child must survive!
Will he need a lot of therapy?
Will he gain the needed weight?
Please God, help me do this.
As I accept our fate.
When the monitors beep at night,
it serves as my reminder.
How many parents would love that sound.
Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings,
I run to my baby's bed.
I watch him sleep for quite a while.
I bend down and kiss his head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken.
I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways....
no matter how I try.
And yet, I trust you hold his life,
and guide us through each day.
My mind says savor each moment he's here,
but my heart begs, "PLEASE let him stay"!
From pacing the surgical waiting room,
to sitting by his bed.
From wishing for a good nights sleep,
to learning every med.
From wondering, "Will he be alright?",
to watching him reach out his hands.
With every smile my heart just melts,
despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line.
I look to them and smile.
You see my child is loved so much.
I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger
(It's the door to his beautiful heart).
God must have known how much I'd love him
(Just as He loved him from the start).
A heart mom is always a heart mom.
Now wise beyond her years.
For those who have angels in heaven,
Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Every day I will try and remember,
I was chosen for him (and no other).
I will always embrace that beautiful day.......
When I became a "Heart Mother".

~Stephanie Husted